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05-Nov-2007: "Another BT rant"
If you read this, please imagine that it's being read by Victor Meldrew (if you don't know who that is, do a search for 'One Foot In The Grave' on the BBC website).
Anyone trying to connect to Brooknet this morning will have had a variety of problems: timeouts, server errors, odd webpages appearing and disappearing. I would describe today as having been 'interesting'.
It started fairly early: I'd been awake since 02:50 and I was mooching around the flat, looking at the computers, when I saw the Internet light of the router blinking on and off to indicate the passage of data. "That's odd," I thought - "I don't have anything running that would download a lot of data.." - and then I checked the wireless camera (Linksys WVC54G). Sure enough, someone was looking at the camera and had been doing so for a few hours. I don't like people 'hogging the camera', as it slows down my LAN and the Internet connection - uses all my upload bandwidth, and I don't have much to spare.
I reckoned that putting a WRT54G (wireless router) between the camera and the Internet should make it easier to deal with, so I did that - it took a few hours to sort the routing out. Having done it, I found that there wasn't even a proper firewall configuration on the WRT - I've got to upgrade it to Kamikaze.
At around 9 a.m. I called BT about my router. It's a 'white box' BT Home Hub - a gleaming white obelisk with built-in WLAN, VoIP capabilities, firewall, tons of stuff. One thing that the specs fail to mention is that it is a complete and utter bastard to configure: the web interface is very slow, confusing and buggy. While I was fooling around with the port forwarding - or 'Games', as it confusingly calls it - the router locked up and needed to be reset (i.e. pull out the power cable). I'd had enough: I called BT.
Naturally, I got an Indian call centre. The woman to whom I spoke was really bellowing down the phone at me. "YES, MISTER LANDA, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE GETTING A SLOW CONNECTION SPEED?" I explained that no, the connection speed was fine and it was the software on the router that was the problem. She didn't get it. I was put on hold. "We need to test your line - could you tell me what lights are showing on the router?" she asked. "It's not on," I said. "I have it here.." (I waved it around - fat lot of good that does!) ".. I've unplugged it and am using my old router."
"Well, Mister Landa, could you please replace the router and call us back? We need to test it."
BUT.. there was nothing wrong with the line - as I explained, the ADSL connection was okay, and it was just the buggy/crawlingly-slow/annoying software on the router that was the issue. I figured I may as well do what they asked, so just to placate them, I removed the good ol' Voyager 220V (why I decided to upgrade from this router is anyone's idea), attached the 'white box', booted up one of my PCs to Windows - which, by the way, I hate - installed the irritating BT Home Hub software, and I got it on the Net. This took another hour because the configuration on the Home Hub had been changed and I couldn't reset it to the defaults (it seemed okay after I held the 'Wireless Association' button for 15 seconds after powerup).
So, with the white box working and online again, I called BT back. They didn't want to test the box this time - they just wanted to test the line. "There's nothing wrong with the line," I stated, again. BT have a speed tester page - 'speedtester.bt.com'. It didn't work - it put up an error and refused to co-operate. "We'll report this to our technical team," said the Indian-accented woman to whom I was talking. "Could I put you on hold again? I've just got to talk to my colleague."
Another few minutes passed and I was transferred to another woman, who said she'd try to do something about the speed of my line. I was losing my patience, although paradoxically, I thought it was all my fault. "I'm sorry," I said, "I think there's been a misunderstanding. I've never had any trouble with the line speed - as I explained, my Home Hub's software is buggy, slow and cumbersome. While configuring it, it stopped responding and I had to reboot it, several times."
"I'm sorry, Mister Landa," said the lady (I was getting irritated at being called 'Mister Landa'). "What we're going to do is replace your router."
AT LAST! Yay! At last, the penny (well, the roupee, probably) drops! "Within the next two business days, a courier will call to replace your router," she said. I asked whether I should include any cables when the swap occurs. "That's fine, Mister Landa," she said, "we won't need your old Home Hub."
I was overjoyed - now I can sell the white box on EBay and let some other schmuck more tolerant person handle its idiosyncrasies, and I get an upgrade! After all that, I've decided that I'm happy with the original Voyager 220V router. I should never have got a new broadband package.
[09-Nov-07: BT included a return bag in the package, so they obviously intended me to return the old Home Hub. I sent it off this morning as I don't to annoy BT by hanging onto it.]
[I ranted a bit more here and decided to delete it as it doesn't do anyone any good to read this stuff. I left the bit below though.]
And another thing! My visual recognition systems are on-the-blink: every time I look at this computer out of the corner of my eye, the plastic bag sticking out of it (it's protecting the CF-to-IDE interface and card ) looks suspiciously like Tony Blackburn. I think it's time I got back on the medication. Does anyone agree?